Grasping At Straws- A Poem

“Grasping At Straws”

Grasping vagrancy in one’s child
Most simplistic act is not
Fractured maternal heart bleeds wild
Suffered soul the abyss caught
Crucible ever prevails fraught

Futile remedy ailment breeds
Posturing all heedless things
Neglecting primal earthly needs
Harsh inebriant trappings
Averse entirely lucid pleads

Clamping malady straining chest
Wakeful blackness vanished days
Clutched slight suckling babe at my breast
Cast tears enduring malaise
Reflection of having caressed

Tragic sustenance chosen vile
Sighted resolves not to see
Relentless self imposed exile
Indifferent to love me
Offer life to capture a smile

Grasping vagrancy in one’s child
Cognizant of special spot
An alternative to beguiled
Alter processes of thought
I am needing to know she fought



“Writing is good, thinking is better. Cleverness is good, patience is better.”
-Herman Hesse

Excerpt from “The Evil Within” 2nd Novel in ‘Poisoned Soul’ series

Mason is an evil killer. The reason he looked like hell in earlier excerpt is that he is terrified to sleep. He is haunted by childhood night terrors and adult nightmares. This is one of his dreams:

Mason fell asleep and started dreaming vividly about killing. His dream flashed from one victim to another.
He saw Bryson’s car in flames, he was running in slow motion trying to get away from the inferno, it was singeing his hair, burning his back…he could barely move his leaden feet.
As he was struggling Mason looked up right into the half-eaten face of Tiffany, she was standing blocking his way. She was mouthing words but no sound came out. Her dead accusing eyes with hate further burning him.
He was in the dank, dark, rank dumpster, his body covered with Elsa’s blood. She was sitting at an impossible angle, legs under and behind her. Her bodice was visible with crimson dripping out of the stab wounds. Her eyes…he couldn’t look at her eyes, yet he could not tear himself away. The blank lifeless orbs were boring into his eyes, he was trying to scream. Elsa was attempting to lift her head but the broken neck flopped from one side to the other, making a bone on bone grinding sound. Mason was going to lose his mind.
In his head he was saying “No…No…No”, but his throat was closed by the rag stuffed in his mouth. He thought he would faint, when Elsa started cackling a loud horrible noise that threatened to make his head explode! She started moving towards him by pulling her ruined body by her arms. He backed up as far as he could against the dumpster when it turned into the soft seat of the red rental car.
He thankfully laid his head on his arms propped by the steering wheel and took a deep breath. It smelled like rotting flesh. He was afraid to turn his head. Before he looked to see, what gruesome sight was in store…the nylon rope wrapped around his neck. It was so tight he could not catch his breath. Two cold, hard fingers slowly pulled his eyelids down and he was blind! He was twisting and gagging….when he woke up the blanket was bound, wrapped and tangled around his body. He tore it loose and actually cried. Cried for him.

Excerpt from “The Evil Within”…will be published in August 2014

Melanie got pregnant accidently. She was on birth control. Mason didn’t want children and is secretly furious. This is their 1st visit to the obstetrician’s office:

Mason and Melanie sat in Dr. Jacobs waiting room. She had to fill out a stack of paperwork with every type of question imaginable. With her emotions high, nerves mixed with excitement, the nurse called her name at last.
Melanie was shocked that Mason had come along, more so that he said, he would be there for her every step of the pregnancy. She was grateful but worried about him. She had not said anything…he looked like death warmed over, as if he had not slept in days. Melanie needed to address her concerns but not until after the appointment
They led her into an exam room, asked her to get undressed and slip into one of those backless gowns that left your rear end cold.
The room was a small box with a sink, a chair, scarce equipment and the paper covered exam table. It was well lit and smelled of antiseptics. Mason sat on the chair and she scooted on to the crunching paper, tearing and creasing it.
First the ultrasound technician was going to examine her, then the doctor would come in to give her a pelvic and a consultation. Mason had never gone with his former wife to any of her doctor appointments when she was pregnant years ago, and felt no guilt about it. This was all new to him and he was uncomfortable.
After taking her temperature, blood pressure, height and weight measurements, the nurse asked her to lay back and relax.
She pulled up the gown and squirted on warmed gel for the sonogram. She used the transducer over her abdomen to capture a three dimensional image of the fetus. The tech applied some pressure to the instrument, moved it around on her belly until she found what she was looking for on the monitor. The first ultrasound was used to check the viability of the pregnancy, confirm the heartbeat and measure the crown-rump length for gestational age.
“There’s the baby,” said the tech pointing to the screen. The image was black and white, hard to discern, but it was hooked up to audio and you could hear the quick heartbeat. She continued with the sonogram taking measurements while Mel and Mason were speechless.
They stared, listened, then Melanie started to cry. Mason squeezed her hand, “It’s amazing!” he whispered, “It’s just incredible!” Melanie found her voice and told Mason she loved him.
He said, “You too.”
Just then the exam room door opened and Dr. Jacobs let himself in. “Hi, I’m Herbert Jacobs, and you are…(he looked at the chart), Melanie. It’s very nice to meet you and you must be Mr. Hudson?”
“Yes I am, it’s good to meet you too, Doc.”
“Hi Dr. Jacobs,” Melanie was smiling from ear to ear.
The doctor was middle-aged man, good looking in a Kevin Costner kind of way, friendly face, and the beginnings of baldness. He had a fit body hiding under his white mid thigh smock, was wearing a blue patterned tie, dress shirt, beige Docker slacks and blue running shoes. Mason approved of his wardrobe choice…much like his own.
“Well you are definitely going to be having a little one, congratulations! Would you kindly slide down and put your feet in the stirrups?”
Wow, Mason thought, he certainly wasted no time. Melanie situated herself and the doc started the pelvic exam, he was a professional. Mason was caught off guard; the circumstance he found himself in was embarrassing. He turned his head and tried to look anywhere except for at what was happening.
“With the sonogram results and this exam, I would say you are seven weeks pregnant, that gives us a due date of July 22nd.”
“Wow,” Mel was flabbergasted.
“We need to get you started on prenatal vitamins and I recommend you read,’Great Expectations: Your All-in-One Resource for Pregnancy and Childbirth’, since this is your first child. It’s a good book. Do either of you have any specific questions for me?”
“Thousands, but I can’t think of one right now,” Melanie laughed.
“Feel free to call our office anytime and set up your next appointment on the way out. It was a pleasure meeting you both.”
Melanie walked out happily with the ultrasound picture in her hand.

Excerpt -Within These Walls…Pages 24-26

Richard Ashcroft, assistant deputy DA was in his office early. They were araigning Mason Hudson that morning at nine. He was going to nab this son of a bitch. Not only on the aggravated robbery but on Peyton Hudson’s murder.
He was sort of a funny looking guy. He had a head that was too big for his sloping shoulders. He was tall and lanky and wore a size fifteen shoe. His arms seemed extra long and his face was no prize either.
Ashcroft had a large forehead unhidden by his short hair cut. Beady sunken eyes, a crooked nose, thin lips and a long neck.
He was probably teased so much at school that he became a prosecutor to exact some revenge.
He was only prosecuting the mugging at this point. He couldn’t introduce the evidence of the murder unless the case was bound over to the superior court.
Today was important. The prosecution had two solid eye witnesses, with identical descriptions; they had the beard, hooded sweatshirt, the scar makeup kit and the brown contacts. All obtained legally with a search warrant. Ashcroft felt pretty good about it.
Stepping into the grand chamber, the smell of polished wood and old justice. Accused and spectators sitting on the slick hard planked pews.
All of the players were there. Defendants, attorneys, clerk, bailiff, the representative from the DA’s office, the stenographer, an English/Spanish translator, the orange clad prisoners in shackles, police officers and guards all waiting on his Honor.
Quiet voices whispering last minute details….
One of the officers lowered a movie screen, started a video in which the Judge gave instructions, rights, penalties and so forth until it was over.
The bailiff almost shouted,
“All rise for the honorable Judge Damon Wheeler!”
Everyone stood.
“Please be seated.”
Judge Wheeler whispered to his clerk, then called Mason Hudson.
Mason struggled with the shackles up to the podium.
“Harvey Rehnquist, for the defendant Your Honor…..”
“Richard Ashcroft for the state Your Honor….”
“Proceed Mr. Ashcroft.”
“Thank you Your Honor. The people charge Mason Michael Hudson in the criminal act of aggravated robbery.”
“How do you plead?”
“Not guilty sir,” said Mason.
“Do we want to argue bail at this time?”
“Yes Your Honor. Mr. Hudson has the means to leave the country. The people ask for bail to be set at $500,000.”
“I object Judge, it is an exorbitant amount. Mr. Hudson is not a flight risk. He is the single parent of two minor chidren.”
“I’m not wasting a lot of time on this gentleman. Bail will be set in the amount of $500,000. That will be all.”
It was that simple. Mason could easily come up with the money, he asked Harvey Rehnquist if he was indeed going to represent him.
“I’m aware this is going to become a capital murder case Mr. Hudson. I’ve done my homework. I think you are guilty as sin but that is neither here nor there. It would be my job to get a not guilty verdict.”

“I ask for a $100,000 retainer fee and the cost will certainly increase as we get into the case. Is that agreeable to you?”
“Yes it is….may I call you Harvey?”
“By all means now that I’m working for you.”

Download book FREE. Last day of promotion.

“Within These Walls” books/view/437190

Order and at end use Promo Code: DW78W

Happy Reading:)