Sarah Elizabeth Rivera
10/24/88 – 8/4/2015
This is Sarah. I have blogged about her extensively. She passed away on August 4th. She was only 26 years old. She is my middle child and I love her deeply.
She was an alcoholic of the worst kind and lived on the streets of Denver.
Her celebration of life party is today. No dreary funeral.
Sarah loved life and was a free spirit. She lived her short life on her own terms.
She died of a seizure.
She is dearly missed and I will take her with me everywhere in my heart and soul.
I LOVE YOU SARAH💕💕💕
Haven’t written about Sarah much lately. There were things to post but I was too despondent. Now as of today she has been in a rehab for four days !!
Its a 90 day program. It started as an AA meeting place and they are renovating and housing homeless drunks. It is run nonprofit by ex addicts. It sounds like she’s in good hands, ( she hasn’t walked out)….oh that leads me to my next thought. The night she arrived at the rehab it was at the hands of a good Samaritan . Some woman found poor Sarah drunk and got her there.
Sarah has never really grieved three things.
The death of her father by hanging.
The loving husband and father of her two very small children…turning out to be homosexual.
She was working a good job, had her own home, but started on a downward spiral….that never stopped.
She ended up losing her children.
Those emotions are going to be hard to deal with but it’s the only way she will survive.
Got my fingers and toes crossed that she has the God given strength to face reality and crawl out of that bottle forever.
I just celebrated 18 years of sobriety…that’s what I want for my baby girl.
Sarah has been in jail for five days. She was questioned by the police and gave them her sisters name. They found out somehow, ( I wish I knew), and arrested her. Sarah doesn’t appear until the 23rd.
I hate for her to be locked up but at least I know she’s warm, fed, sober and has a place to lay her head.
Before jail she was hanging on the streets with Joe even though he abuses her. She decided not to go to Kansas for her own reasons. It might have been a good opportunity to straighten herself out. Deep down…I believe she likes being a vagrant and the lifestyle that goes along with it. She’s a renegade and tough as nails!
Spring is finally here, bringing warmer weather and easing the outdoor life. I can continue to emotionally support Sarah but all other attempts at helping her have failed. She chooses this life. She chooses to drink. Its not my choice.
Sarah is living on the streets of Denver. She has survived rape, alcohol poisoning , hypothermia and just the day to day life. Its an unforgiving world in which we live …especially for a vagrant.
She’s tired of the life although deep down it fulfills some kind of idea of freedom.
She has slept outside under bushes in the snow , (with her muscular dystrophy ), in garages, under a truck that was temporarily warm, in plywood lean two’s, stairwells, and endlessly rode the city bus for warmth.
She sustains a mostly liquid diet but does eat when there’s a chance.
She’s been hanging out with a native american man for protection. We’ll call him Joe.
At first they took care of each other and shared companionship… until he turned abusive when drunk. Some protection. Joe put her in the hospital with staples in her head. He punches her and her face usually shows the markings.
Sarah has been amazingly strong, like her counterparts out there.
Well Joe hit her for the last time two nights ago. She has been with me since.
Why don’t I let her live with me…you ask?
Sarah does not want…or is convinced she can’t …stop drinking.
When there’s drinking there’s drama. Always drama….
For those two nights I didn’t have to lay in bed worrying and wondering. When she fell asleep in my warm bed she looked like an angel. I watched her sleep and my love just poured out for her. It was fantastic having her near me. She’s 26 but will always be my baby girl!
In those two days we came up with a course of action. Sarah is going to stay with her uncle on her dads side. He goes by Junebug and is an excellent man.
He lives in Topeka Kansas and Sarah is leaving to go live with him. She will be warm, cared for and I am eternally hopeful that she will take advantage of a fresh start.
I love Sarah more than mere words can explain.
She will be taking the Greyhound on Monday.
She has one tattered bag of belongings.
I pray she can turn her life around living with her uncle.
I have 17 years of sobriety but remember my drinking days well. It numbs the heart and murders the soul.
An extra prayer from you would be fantastic….after prayer is all that there is left. I have pride and faith in her and miss my little girl.