Grasping At Straws

Grasping vagrancy in one’s child
A simplistic act is not
Fractured maternal heart bleeds wild
Suffered soul, the abyss caught
Crucible remains defiled

Futile remedy, ailment breeds
Posturing all heedless things
Neglecting primal earthly needs
Harsh inebriant trappings
Averse entirely lucid pleads

Clamping malady straining chest
Wakeful blackness, vanished days
Clutched wee suckling babe at breast
Cast tears, enduring malaise
Reflection of having caressed

Tragic sustenance chosen, vile
Sighted, resolved not to see
Relentless self imposed exile
Indifferent to love me
Offer life to capture one smile

Grasping at straws, simple is not
Cognizant if safer spot
An alternative to beguiled
Alter processes of thought
Desperate and need to know she fought

B.G. Bradley

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“Grasping at Straws”

Grasping vagrancy in one’s child
A simplistic act it’s not
Fractured maternal heart bleeds wild
Suffered soul, the abyss caught
Crucible ever prevails fraught

Futile remedy, ailment breeds
Posturing all heedless things
Neglecting primal earthly needs
Harsh inebriant trappings
Averse entirely lucid pleads

Clamping malady straining chest
Wakeful blackness, vanished days
Clutched slight suckling babe at breast
Cast tears, enduring malaise
Reflection of having caressed

Tragic sustenance chosen, vile
Sighted, resolves not to see
Relentless self imposed exile
Indifferent to love me
Offer life to capture a smile

Grasping at straws, simple it’s not
Cognizant of safer spot
An alternative to beguiled
Alter processes of thought
Desperate and need to know she fought

“The Woman On The Corner”

Trial of homelessness strikes close to my heart
It’s so difficult to put down in part
My poor baby daughter, a ghost on the street
For a bottle, a meal, she’d screw men she’d meet

This is such a dangerous way
To live a desperate life everyday
The hardest part was watching her die
Not the life I’d have chosen, I wonder why

She was a very hostile and hurtful drunk
Tough love on my part, how low had I sunk
Muscular dystrophy was part of her plight
She saw only darkness, was too tired to fight

She had seizures while downing her booze
Early scerosis, extended abuse
Cried for her at night, I worried all day
She called from jail, detox, a hospital stay

I once had to search for her as Jane Doe
In a panic I found her, back out she’d go
I felt destroyed and damn confused
My Sarah was out there, with who I mused

Homeless people have a good heart and soul
Whether they choose or not to take on this role
I know from experience that this is true
Sarah’s loving, caring and giving too

She cried to me that I loved her no more
I wrote her a poem to convince and implore
Her to live and I loved her…I swore
I need her to believe, love streams from my core

“Ode To Billy”

A decent man in this world alone
Drifting, dreaming about going home
Disappeared years ago, down the road
Mental illness, carried heavy load

Wandering daily from town to state
A handyman for hunger to slate
This man in its grip, the devils brew
Loveless traveler, no goals…no clue

Well trodden shoes worn to a shred
Shabby garments hanging like lead
No coat, no bag…had nothing left
His numbed out mind wholly bereft

An upstanding man, once clean shaven
Matted hair and beard, no offered haven
To hunger and thirst in this sad way
Calculated risk leaving that day

Won’t acknowledge failure, too damn proud
Never to return he boldly vowed
His people, his love…no mail, no call
Family wondering if he lives at all

Lifes   loneliest soul filled with self hate
Reshaping existence now too late
Loved ones lost an incredible man
Need to pray and move on, if they can

“Peeping Out At My World”

Surviving under bypass
Cardboard ripping, some spyglass
Thin covering, protection
One thin blanket, perfection

Past life a professional man
Bad Karma, God dealt sad hand
Panhandling near corner here
Homemade sign makes purpose clear

People ignoring or glowering
Much rather be showering
Have nothing but rags
Don’t own anything, no bags

Eating something, drugging, booze
What’s needed most, cannot choose
Spent long hot day begging cash
Got hooch, finish dining trash

Plodding back to cardboard home
Peeking out, I’m so alone

“Don’t Leave Me Behind”

I love you my child
I don’t know how to help you
You continue to die your slow death
It’s painful for both of us
Watching you kill yourself
To see you so all alone

I love you my child
Know you are living with demons
I curse the devil and his minions
Watching you just give up and die
It kills me inside

I love you my child
Always loved you and forever will
You are not long for this earth
The deterioration has accelerated
The doctors don’t give you much time
I cry for the hurt in your heart
I cry for the torture of your soul
I cry because you doubt my love for you

I love you my child
Don’t give up and die
I ache at the thought of losing you
Please see a glimpse of the light in my soul
Let it guide you to peace
I can’t watch anymore

I love you my child
Don’t die my sweet little girl
Don’t leave me behind
Let’s love each other for the time you have left
I love you more than mere words express
I love you more than my own life
Don’t cry little one, for I am here

Lighten My Mood

I posted some silly poetry to lighten my mood. I’ve been up since 3 am worrying. Yes, about Sarah …
Since I last updated her meager existence, life has gone downhill. My daughter is still surviving on the streets of Denver, Co. The temperature right now is 18°. Last week she tripped getting off the city bus, probably drunk. She broke her jaw and got six stitches in her chin.
You may be asking why she doesn’t stay with me. She has burned all of her bridges and I’ve been practicing “tough love”. It hasn’t worked and I’m afraid she will not survive. I’m on social security for a mental illness. Schizoaffective disorder , generalized anxiety and agoraphobia. I live with my boyfriend of three years. I’ve been trying to help Sarah since she was 13, when her father hung himself. She has had drug and alcohol addictions and been in and out of trouble with the law.
I’m so desperate to save her life I am on housing lists, hoping to get my own place. I’m willing to give up my relationship to help Sarah once more.
She slept under a bush last week and with her muscular dystrophy affected by the cold, she drinks to self medicate and gain control of her muscles.
I love her with all of my being and don’t know how I would go on without her. Please pray for Sarah and pray that I can get shelter for the two of us.  Stress is high. Anxiety is high. I’m determined to save her life….