A Limerick

There once was a man in Arvada
Who’d come all the way from Nevada
Wanted out of Vegas
Crook came to plague us
To Blackhawk for the whole enchilada

This chap had a thousand in his jeans
Like a cheapskate played nickel machines
He then put five cents in
Pulled bar back with a win
Cashed in- stuffed pants bulging at seams

This gent was now sky high about life
Didn’t care- left nine kids and a wife
Took chair to play Blackjack
Placed chips- greased his hair back
The dealer sensed this fellow meant strife

The guy played-won-his streak unmarred
Counties Aces-Kings-Queens-every card
He raised some suspicion
From the owners position
They’d seen this before and come down hard

They escorted the cad out-such a pity
Got caught again-thought he was witty
So he drove far away
To the New Jersey bay
Now betting in Atlantic City

A Poem-All in Good Fun

“Ellen”

The excitement builds before the show
Appearance anticipated, let’s go
Here comes Ellen with applause galore
Crowd won’t quiet, stoked for what’s in store

Must say Ellen is such a sexy dude
Whoops, she’s a she I’m extremely rude
Ellen dresses with such casual care
Not a strand out of place, her perfect hair

Ellen completely involves her crowd
The silly shenanigans make them loud
She dances to the music everywhere
Famous for her moves, she heads for her chair

She straddles the table with practiced skill
For her advanced age and without a pill
She moves on to a famous, brilliant guest
Her uncommon talent brings out their best

Music for the show chose eloquently
Ellen and staff almost always agree
The gifts she gives, the audience adore
Generosity leaves them wanting more

Cute that her mom’s at every taping
Even stays awake and keeps from gaping
Ellen is actually my favorite host
Please forgive me this little roast

If you’re in the mood for a superb time
Tune to Ellen, at three, channel nine.
You won’t be disappointed,far from it
It is world wide known that Ellen’s the “shit”

Poem-Just For Fun :)

Soakin’ My Dogs

Lived a senile woman and a shrunk aged man
Sippin’ steamin’ coffee from a used soup can
Both of them slouchin’ in their rockin’ chair
Deeply breathin’ in the crisp mornin’ air

Gnarled twosome with chock full day ahead
She started some yeast for potato bread
His suspenders strained to hold up his pants
Chewin’ on a stem- inspected his hemp plants

She with straw whisk tended the dirt floor
He scored quarts of moonshine- wisht he had more
The timeless lady sat straight churnin’ butter
Dodderin’ spouse feigned fixin’ the shutter

Hardy old gal got to smokin’ the hog
He tooled towards town- just him and his dog
While she hung the fresh linen on the line
He pulled up to his still- was runnin’ fine

It was way past time to rustle up grub
Tipsy ‘ole guy gave his neck a good rub
She sizzled them up some hogback and beans
He perched at the table calm by no means

At last they sat down commencin’ to chew
Forgot her uppers went and snatched his too
Soon after they dined on their scrumptious fare
Ambled back in pain to the rockin’ chair

Elderly pair soaked their dogs in dish pan
A snort of moonshine out of handy soup can
Couldn’t think of a better end to a day
Than to soak- smoke and snort their cares away