Grasping At Straws

Grasping vagrancy in one’s child
A simplistic act is not
Fractured maternal heart bleeds wild
Suffered soul, the abyss caught
Crucible remains defiled

Futile remedy, ailment breeds
Posturing all heedless things
Neglecting primal earthly needs
Harsh inebriant trappings
Averse entirely lucid pleads

Clamping malady straining chest
Wakeful blackness, vanished days
Clutched wee suckling babe at breast
Cast tears, enduring malaise
Reflection of having caressed

Tragic sustenance chosen, vile
Sighted, resolved not to see
Relentless self imposed exile
Indifferent to love me
Offer life to capture one smile

Grasping at straws, simple is not
Cognizant if safer spot
An alternative to beguiled
Alter processes of thought
Desperate and need to know she fought

B.G. Bradley

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“The Woman On The Corner”

Trial of homelessness strikes close to my heart
It’s so difficult to put down in part
My poor baby daughter, a ghost on the street
For a bottle, a meal, she’d screw men she’d meet

This is such a dangerous way
To live a desperate life everyday
The hardest part was watching her die
Not the life I’d have chosen, I wonder why

She was a very hostile and hurtful drunk
Tough love on my part, how low had I sunk
Muscular dystrophy was part of her plight
She saw only darkness, was too tired to fight

She had seizures while downing her booze
Early scerosis, extended abuse
Cried for her at night, I worried all day
She called from jail, detox, a hospital stay

I once had to search for her as Jane Doe
In a panic I found her, back out she’d go
I felt destroyed and damn confused
My Sarah was out there, with who I mused

Homeless people have a good heart and soul
Whether they choose or not to take on this role
I know from experience that this is true
Sarah’s loving, caring and giving too

She cried to me that I loved her no more
I wrote her a poem to convince and implore
Her to live and I loved her…I swore
I need her to believe, love streams from my core

“Ode To Billy”

A decent man in this world alone
Drifting, dreaming about going home
Disappeared years ago, down the road
Mental illness, carried heavy load

Wandering daily from town to state
A handyman for hunger to slate
This man in its grip, the devils brew
Loveless traveler, no goals…no clue

Well trodden shoes worn to a shred
Shabby garments hanging like lead
No coat, no bag…had nothing left
His numbed out mind wholly bereft

An upstanding man, once clean shaven
Matted hair and beard, no offered haven
To hunger and thirst in this sad way
Calculated risk leaving that day

Won’t acknowledge failure, too damn proud
Never to return he boldly vowed
His people, his love…no mail, no call
Family wondering if he lives at all

Lifes   loneliest soul filled with self hate
Reshaping existence now too late
Loved ones lost an incredible man
Need to pray and move on, if they can

“Peeping Out At My World”

Surviving under bypass
Cardboard ripping, some spyglass
Thin covering, protection
One thin blanket, perfection

Past life a professional man
Bad Karma, God dealt sad hand
Panhandling near corner here
Homemade sign makes purpose clear

People ignoring or glowering
Much rather be showering
Have nothing but rags
Don’t own anything, no bags

Eating something, drugging, booze
What’s needed most, cannot choose
Spent long hot day begging cash
Got hooch, finish dining trash

Plodding back to cardboard home
Peeking out, I’m so alone

Grasping At Straws- A Poem

“Grasping At Straws”

Grasping vagrancy in one’s child
Most simplistic act is not
Fractured maternal heart bleeds wild
Suffered soul the abyss caught
Crucible ever prevails fraught

Futile remedy ailment breeds
Posturing all heedless things
Neglecting primal earthly needs
Harsh inebriant trappings
Averse entirely lucid pleads

Clamping malady straining chest
Wakeful blackness vanished days
Clutched slight suckling babe at my breast
Cast tears enduring malaise
Reflection of having caressed

Tragic sustenance chosen vile
Sighted resolves not to see
Relentless self imposed exile
Indifferent to love me
Offer life to capture a smile

Grasping vagrancy in one’s child
Cognizant of special spot
An alternative to beguiled
Alter processes of thought
I am needing to know she fought

The Woman On The Corner-Poem

“The Woman on the Corner”

Trial of homelessness strikes close to my heart
It’s so difficult to put down in part
My poor baby daughter a ghost on the street
For a bottle, a meal, she’ll screw men she’d meet

This is such a dangerous way
To live in desperation everyday
The hardest part is watching her die
It’s not the life for her, I wonder why

She is a very hostile, hutrful drunk
Tough love on my part, how low I had sunk
Muscular Dystrophy is part of her plight
She sees only darkness is too tired to fight

She has seizures even when downing booze
Early scerosis, extended abuse
I cry for her at night and worry all day
She calls from jail, detox or a hospital stay

I once had to search for her as ‘Jane Doe’
In a panic I found her, they let her go
I feel so sad and damned confused
My Sarah is out there, dead, alive- I muse

Homeless are people with a goog heart and soul
Whether they choose or not to live this role
I know from experience, they’re good it’s true
Sarah is loving, caring and giving too

She still remains on the unforgiving streets
She doesn’t want help my actions she defeats
I love her so but she wants to die
Attempted suicides, my help she will defy

Sleeps under bridges searches for next drink
Her time runs out, teetering on the brink
My need to help her, she won’t take what I’m giving
My fear is the notice, she’s no longer living.

I wait for the knock at my door, need me to identify
The dead body of my lttle girl, oh sarah why
My heart and soul are shattered
Sarah felt she never mattered

For My Mother-Poem

“For My Mother”

I’ve committed an act so grievously wrong
Worst mistake of my life, all trust is gone
Feeling so morbidly ashamed
Heart and soul forever maimed
Unrelentingly conscience nagged at me
Will never again be truly free

Worst part of all is the hurt she must feel
Pain, indignation, disbelief… all real
Took her love as something due me
Took it for granted so unwisely
I have lost the best part of me
To never return, can clearly see

I’m sorry, is such a pitiful phrase
Shame, guilt, self hatred and malaise
Have an ache in my soul for trespassing
Am just heart sick, it’s all encompassing

Ill never allow myself to forgive
Not sure with these feelings I can live
I cannot reverse the transgression
In my being I’ve imbedded a lesson

Don’t know why I broke our bond
Plead for forgiveness if she’ll respond
Hope our love can withstand and is strong
To forgive, not forget what she knew all along